Fall of Wall Maria
by Wolf190
Summary: In the very first breach, an innumerable number of soldiers fell to the attacking titans. This is a story from their point of view. This was their fight.


Before the story begins, I'd like to say a few things. First, I have only seen a few episodes of the very first season of Attack on Titan. However, from the very first time I saw the Omni Directional Mobility Gear being used I was hooked (pun totally intended). Coupled with a righteous theme of "taking back what we've lost", I knew that great stories could come from this universe. The only question I had was: What kind of story exactly?

Well, I did a brief amount of searching here through good 'ol and it struck me that there weren't many in line with the "nitty gritty" feel of the show I was watching. After all, we're talking about a war to save humanity from extinction! Civilians and soldiers alike were dying by the hundreds! Titans are supposed to be these mindless, merciless, and extremely dangerous creatures that a soldier had to take very seriously. One slip up could mean being dragged into a waiting maw and eaten. Perhaps even worse, one slip up could mean being forced to watch your comrades or even your own family being devoured. If that doesn't scare you, then I don't know what will.

So around that time, an idea came to mind. The show focuses on an extremely talented group of young soldiers who excel at slaying the mighty titans. What about the rest of us? What about the average team who must work together in order to slay even a measly 5 or 7 meter titan? The men and women who, despite having watched their closest friends fall victim to these monsters, continued to fight on regardless of their fear? That's who I wanted to read about.

Granted, I have taken some liberties with the universe. I hope this does not detract from your experience.

So without further ado, I humbly present my short work of fiction. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

No one ever tells it from the soldier's point of view. No one ever tells you what it's really like, there on the ground and in the thick of it.

All they hear are the successes. They see the heroes that come back. What they don't see are those they left behind.

"Have you checked your gear yet?" Samantha asks me from behind, bringing me back to reality. Her voice has a sharp edge and although I've already checked everything, I do it once more just for her, just so she can see me do it. I've been in this harness for a half hour now waiting while we stand by for orders. The dark interior of the building we're stuck in is stifling hot and humid. We sweat and sweat, unable to go anywhere else and it does nothing for our nerves. They won't tell us how long we'll be waiting here, but we all know the reason why. Wall Maria has been breached.

"Yes, Sam." My voice echoes off the stone walls, just barely audible over the others nearby. I had stepped out of the main room and into a dark hallway in order to get some time to myself, to calm my rattled nerves. I wonder if it's just by luck that she found me here but already know the answer.

I'm fiddling with the gas tank when I feel her arms around me. I'm startled for a moment and my head jerks up to see if anyone is nearby. She doesn't let go and for a moment I say 'fuck the rules'. I should be able to do whatever I want with whomever I want, especially now. But, then I think I hear footsteps approaching from the main hall and by instinct I pull away and turn around. In the soft orange glow of the lanterns hanging nearby, I see her frown. No one else enters the hall.

"What's wrong?" She asks, tucking a strand of long blonde hair behind an ear. I have the sudden, almost paranoid urge to tell her to cut it. "Eat dirt again?" Regardless of how I feel, I can't help but smile at the inside joke. I remember that day in cadet training, when we were first introduced to our ODM.

"No." I respond, my smile fading. "But you know the rules." She diverts her eyes to the stone wall and leans against it for support, the sheath connected to her leg clanging loudly against it. "Be careful." I tell her. "You don't want to damage your tubes." I'm referring to the cylinder of highly pressurized gas that sits atop the sheaths. It wasn't unknown for the connecter to come loose, sending a cadet spinning wildly out of control while still dozens of meters off the ground. It's a harsh and still very fresh reminder that not everyone made it through those three years of training.

"It'll be fine." I can sense an argument brewing and I almost welcome it as a way to take my mind off what's to come. When those doubled doors open and we're ordered to form up outside, it can only mean one thing.

Almost as if she can hear my thoughts, she reaches out for me and says "It will be okay."

"Will it?" I snap and pull away a little harsher than I intended. She withdraws her arm with a look that hurts me just to see. I lower my voice. "Will it?" It's almost like I need her to tell me everything will be okay. "For over one hundred years these walls have stood against those things. Now they're telling us they've gotten through!" Despite trying to hide how terrified I am, it shows as clear as day.

"I don't know." She says, and it's not the answer I was looking for. "I don't know if it's going to be okay, but we've got every soldier we can find here just waiting in case they need us." She looks at me with those piercing blue eyes of hers and I can see that she's just as scared as I am. Without a thought, I take a step forward and embrace her as well as I can with our gear in the way.

"Everything will be fine." I decide, telling her. "Everything will be okay."

"Are you sure?" She whispers into my chest, and before I can answer, I hear the doubled doors open and we're ordered outside.

I'm taken back to that first day in cadet training. After being shuttled around all night with no sleep, we're ordered to muster in a grassless courtyard. Over a hundred of us all stand idly by, having not been told what to do. Some talk amongst themselves quietly, but most of us are silent. Exhausted, we can barely manage to stay on our feet, much less hold a conversation. There are several rigging nearby that consist of two tall poles and wires and cranks. I have no idea what they're used for. All I can do is gaze around the area and guess.

My answer comes a moment later, in the form of a sharp order of 'attun-shuh!' We snap to as best as we can, having only been taught a short time earlier how to properly execute the command.

A man strides into view. He's tall with a shaved head and a look meaner than I've ever seen. Despite his pot belly, he looks strong as a bull. He looks at each and every one of us, up and down before moving to the next. I try and stand as still as possible but my nervousness bleeds through. With a sharp _thwack!_ I feel the blow before I see it coming and I'm brought to my knees.

"That is not how you stand at attention!" His voice booms like he's inside my head despite being several feet away, his reach extended by the wooden baton in his left hand. I struggle to my feet and make another attempt. This time it's enough because he soon walks past to another cadet. Pain shoots from my stomach. When I hear him repeat the same thing to another cadet further down the line, I sympathize when I hear the strike connect and hear the ' _humph'_ as the unfortunate person is corrected.

"My name," his iron-clad voice booms as he comes to a halt in front of us, "is Sergeant Jern!"

It's strange, strange to see a man you've looked up to for so many months appear so uncertain. Sergeant Jern paced for a moment before our formation. He was with us all throughout cadet training, leading us and teaching us how to become soldiers. Now that Wall Maria has been breached, he's been pressed into service as our squad leader.

"I know you've just graduated a few days ago." He begins, coming to a stop near me. I'm right up front thanks to my short stature. Samantha is directly behind me and to the left. Even though we've separated, I can still feel as though I have her in my arms. "That's the reason I'm in charge of you. There isn't enough time to get you integrated with the garrison regiment. So until that happens, we'll be attached to them, but you follow my orders. Got it?" With a resounding echo, we respond 'yes, sergeant!' The uncertainty begins to fade as he once more takes on the role of our leader.

It's better outside the building, but not by much. It's still hot and my clothing sticks to me. I have the urge to wipe the sweat from my brow but know that doing so would only draw attention to myself. Doing that was one of the quickest ways to get stuck with remedial physical training, and something that we quickly learned to avoid. So, by habit, I remain locked at attention while Sergeant Jern continues on.

"You all know that Wall Maria has been breached. I'm not going to try and act like it didn't happen." He looks at all twelve of us, men and women that he helped train for three years, and we see our concerns mirrored in his. "But this is what we've been training for." For a moment, his eyes lock with mine. "This is the reason you became soldiers." His gaze moves to another. "This is the reason you joined up; to fight!" He raises his voice, motivating a few – namely Sims and Hudson – to reply back in just as much earnest. The rest of us respond with a sharp 'yes, sergeant!' But even I can feel the excitement rising in my blood.

"When I give the order, we're going to do what I've trained you all to do." He smashes his fist into an open palm. "We're going to go out there and we're going to kill some titans!" We all give a loud cry. When we can hear him again, he orders us to stay put. He tells us that he needs to attend a last minute briefing before getting our orders and then calls us to attention once more. We snap to and he cries, "Fallout!" We stay where we are anyway. It's easier to get back into formation if you don't move.

As Sergeant Jern leaves, I automatically turn to Samantha and she's there with a smile on her face. Sims is right beside her, despite being over a head taller. "What gives?" I ask him, referring to his new position in the formation, and all he does is smile.

"We were rushed out here. I had no time to get in my real spot."

"It doesn't matter anyway." Hudson appears beside me, his voice even and serious. "We're not cadets anymore."

"Yeah," I continue, "but that's how it always is. We order by height."

"We're real soldiers now." He argues, his brown eyes flashing. "We don't have to worry about height order anymore. Stop trying to be the perfect cadet."

For a moment, I feel the urge to punch Hudson in the face. He's bigger than I am, but I've fought him before and know how he moves. I could probably take him now, but just as I'm seriously considering it, Samantha steps in between us.

"Now look," Sims says, "you made her move in formation." The joke is enough to make Samantha laugh and diffuse the tension. I swallow my pride for now and Hudson appears to do the same.

"We were given the order to fallout anyway." She says, moving back to her spot by habit. "Can you two knock it off? Save it for the real fight."

"Real fight?" Hudson raises an eyebrow in question, the one with the scar that I put there. "We've been training for three years. We're ready."

"These aren't cardboard cutouts hanging from a wire." I can't help but argue. "These are actual titans. If the stories are anywhere near true then that means they're extremely dangerous."

"If I remember correctly, you could barely even hit those cardboard cutouts." Hudson snaps back and my cheeks turn red. "So maybe if they are dangerous, you should just stay here and refill our tanks when they get empty." The urge to hit Hudson returns in earnest and I clench my fists. Before I can move, Sims and Samantha step back in between us.

"Are you two out of your minds?" Samantha asks and I know she's right, once again and as always. I feel the anger drain out of me, replaced once again by my nerves. But with some surprise, I realize I'm still clenching my fist.

"After all we've gone through," Sims starts, "I-I think we can at least stow the arguing for later." His eyes flash towards us in good humor despite his returning stutter. "At least until after we fell a few titans and have a drink in our hands." I see Hudson nod towards me and I return the favor.

"After this," Hudson says, "I'll buy you all a round." His voice is even this time, without the usual boasting. As suddenly as it came into existence, the tension between him and I disappear and we're comrades once again. We shake hands, our grips firm, and look each other in the eye. Despite our differences, the trials and rigors of training always finds a way to smooth away the rougher edges of our personalities. Sergeant Jern had told us something the first week of training, when we were still struggling with the simplest of tasks, that has stuck with me ever since. No matter your beliefs, he had said, the bonds we form make us closer than family. And it's that bond which allows us to bring each other back home safe.

Looking at the faces around me, I couldn't agree more.

–

"Don't feel bad for him." The blond girl, Samantha, says from beside me. We're both doing pushups, along with most of our squad. One of us, Hudson, was currently running laps around our formation. He was followed closely by another sergeant keeping pace and yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Trust me," I'm barely able to breathe out my response, "I don't." Sweat drips from my forehead and onto the dirt below. It stings my eyes and blurs my vision. I can taste the salt. The lesson for today? Don't steal from the mess hall. Through the pants and curses of my fellow cadets, I can hear Hudson hoarsely screaming a rendition of "Potato Potato", a song which truly proved above all else the twisted sense of humor of our trainers. It was difficult to discern whether they had already thought of the tune just in case a cadet stole an extra meal or if they had made it up on the spot like it seemed.

Just three weeks into training and we were already garnering a reputation. It was not a good thing. I couldn't seem to run more than a hundred feet, another cadet named Sims stuttered under pressure, and Hudson stole potatoes. The only one not garnering the unwanted attention of the sergeants was the blonde haired girl beside me. She didn't seem to be having much trouble with the pushups, nor did she feel the "correction" the wooden batons offered as much as the others. In addition to the exhaustion, a pang of jealousy ran through me as I wondered how she did it.

"Alright," Sergeant Jern begins, his arms held behind his back in a leisurely pose, "up." With the command, we all start to rise to our feet, relieved to be done with the exercise. Sergeant Jern's voice snaps back at us, sharp like a knife. "Okay! If we don't want to get up quick enough then back on your faces!" A groan ripples through us as we begin to get back down for more pushups. "What?" Sergeant Jern yells again, seemingly offended. "What?" He shouts again. "On your feet!" We all snap up again, feeling his anger in the same way you feel the heat when standing too close to a bonfire. "Run!" He shouts, swinging the baton at the closest cadet. I manage to avoid it as we stumble over each other in an effort to get away.

"We can't blame Hudson for this one." I tell Samantha. She's right beside me, already starting to pull away from the rest of the cadets.

"Next time don't groan when given an order." She tells me curtly. I start to reply, but I already feel my lungs straining. Then she's gone, leaving me at the back of the pack.

–

We all continued to sweat, our gear rubbing us raw while Sergeant Jern goes over our orders. The sun shines overhead, burning our necks while the man pointed over spots on a city map. I only barely hear him, so busy in my own head. If the first wall has already been breached, what's stopping the second, or even the third, from falling? What caused Wall Maria to fall in the first place? The questions rang through my head, so incessant that it took Samantha's elbow to bring me back to the present. When my eyes focused again, I see that everyone was backing away from the map and back into formation. Sergeant Jern handed it off to another sergeant and I found myself jumping back to my spot, behind the curve.

"What was the last part?" I muttered to Samantha. "I couldn't hear him." Even though I couldn't see her, I already knew she saw through my lie.

"Our first real mission and you can't even pay attention?" She whispered back. I feel my face burn, but not from the sun. My rebuttal is interrupted by Sergeant Jern ordering us off. Before it felt like I could blink, we were past Wall Sheena

I had seen the smoke from our assembly point. Now I could smell it. There was also something else, a sort of white noise that I finally noticed. It was low, like a tide rolling in. As we got closer and closer to Wall Rose, I figured out what it was.

We had left our horses behind. We were already riding two – and sometimes three – to a horse in order to save our tanks. The horses would have to be taken back to the assembly point for the other squads. That left us standing before Wall Rose once we were finally off the saddle. As we formed back up, I couldn't help but think that this was the first time I would use the ODM for something outside of training. I'd been waiting for this moment since starting all those years ago. Now, as we stood in an open plaza facing Wall Rose, I found that I was sick to my stomach.

It was when I pulled the trigger, heard the _hiss_ of my ODM as it engaged, that those fears began to melt away. I was pulled forward with more force than I anticipated and it struck me as a rookie mistake. I went on autopilot, automatically adjusting my next arc. The wind whipped through my hair, through my uniform, and I felt the familiar feeling of being in-flight. This wasn't so hard, I thought.

And that is when I realized what that sound had been earlier. It was screaming.

We landed on the top of Wall Rose, among other garrisons squads waiting there. The landing wasn't smooth, and I nearly fell off balance. Hudson was there to steady me. I intended to thank him, but the tight grip he had on my shoulder caught me up short. When I looked up, I realized why.

Columns of smoke rose from the city, blocking out the otherwise sunny day. Fires had begun to spread. Even from this distance, we could see them. There were hundreds, moving along the blocks that made up the city. Like rats in a maze, searching for food. Too often, we watch them find it. We see them lifting their hands to their maws, their mouths moving, the sprays of red. Someone beside me vomited onto the wall. They weren't the only one.

My own stomach recoiled. I felt the contents of this morning's breakfast make their way up my throat. I only just manage to force it back down.

"B-b-but," Sims half stutter-whispered from my other side, "h-how?" The wall had been breached, we knew. We knew titans were inside. We knew some people had certainly died. But this... My mind was blank. I couldn't come up with an answer. Certainly it hadn't been a total breach.

"Alright," I heard Sergeant Jern nearby, his own voice more uncertain than I could have ever imagined possible, "we have to get to our objective."

No one moved. Sergeant Jern repeated the order. Suddenly, all of our gear felt twice as heavy. Suddenly, the fatigue we didn't know we were feeling redoubled.

Suddenly, we all felt fear.

–

"I ain't scared of no titan!" Hudson boasted from across the table, his spoon pointed like one of the training blades we had used earlier in the day. "You show me a titan and I'll show you a dead one just as quick." We ate our lunch with the entire platoon today, gathered here in the all-too-stuffy mess hall. Sims sat to my left. Reis, another cadet in our squad, sat to my right.

"Have you ever seen a titan?" Reis asked, dipping into his soup with his own spoon. His angular features made him look like a hawk. Too frequently, his brown hair grew too quickly, prompting the training sergeants to force him into cutting it before the assigned day.

"Have you?" Hudson replied, and Reis answered with an indignant lift of his right shoulder. "Exactly." Hudson continued. "But I've been learning plenty in our classes. I think I've got a pretty good strategy."

I blocked Hudson's boasting out of my head and focused on the blond girl, Samantha. She was sitting at the end of the table, focusing on her own meal, and a smaller training manual next to it.

"You know," Sims prodded me, "you can talk to her."

"I don't want to talk to her." I say, quickly returning to my meal. The thought of her comment the other week about not complaining during training comes back to me, as it had been the last couple of days.

"Who'd want to talk to Ms. Perfection anyway?" I heard Hudson remark. Sims and Reis snicker from beside me. I've diverted my attention back to my bowl in the meantime, but out of the corner of my eye I see her head turn, ever so slightly, in our direction.

"What?" Hudson continues to laugh, now facing me. "Don't agree?" He's challenging me, and I know it's folly, but I fall for it anyhow.

"No one's perfect." I say.

I see her head turn back to her training manual.

–

We're waving our arms, getting the attention of the people below us on the street below. So many ignore or don't see us. They continue to pour out into the street and into the alleys. They all yell, either at each other or to to the sky. At least some of those people see us.

We point and signal, trying to get them onto the next street over. The way they're heading leads directly to the river; a dead end without ships to ferry them out. If too many of them force their way in that direction, it'll be hell getting them back out. Too many would be crushed underfoot. Too many would be pushed into the river. Too many would be boxed in by the titans approaching a few blocks away.

"These fucking idiots!" Hudson shouts from beside me. He's got both arms above his head, waving about like some sort of madman. "You're going the wrong way!" He shouts at them, but even I can barely hear him over the roar of the crowd below. A father carries his daughter in his arms, a bag in his other hand. A merchant tries to push his horse drawn cart through the crowd and I see few people get knocked off their feet as the horse rears back. Someone else is throwing a brick through a window in order to get inside.

"This is getting us no where." Samantha, in order to get her voice across from the next roof over, has her hands cupped around her mouth as she shouts. I remember the extra flares I'm carrying, but also that Sergeant Jern is the one carrying the actual launcher. They'd be great to get the attention of the people below, but we've been put under strict orders to avoid using them for unauthorized purposes.

A distant boom echoes past us, the breeze bringing it further than it might have traveled before. A canon? A building collapsing? We may never know.

"We've got to get them to pay attention somehow." Hudson shouts. I see him look about the roof for a moment before he bends down and pulls a shingle free. Before any of us can stop him, he lobs it into the crowd. It beans the merchant trying to push the crowd apart with his cart, sending him sprawling out on his bench.

"Are you serious?" Samantha yells. I see Hudson raise his hands as if there was no other way, but that's when I see the church nearby. It's perhaps twenty meters away. Above the structure, suspended in the tower, is a bell.

"You're an idiot!" I yell to Hudson, who begins to take offense. "But you're the smartest idiot I know!" His face scrunches up in confusion as I bend down to pry a shingle off the roof myself.

"What are you doing?" He asks, and I see Samantha throw her arms up from her roof as if to protest. I take a pitcher's stance, slightly off balance from the ODM gear, and lob the shingle. It misses the bell by a kilometer, shattering against the bell tower and falling to the street below.

"You never could throw!" Sims claps me on the back, catching me off guard, before he begins to pry shingles off the roof as well. Soon, the entire squad is following suit. Shingles begin to crumple and break against the tower, the debris landing on the unfortunate people below. Finally, I watch as Hudson's piece arcs through the air and connects.

The resounding tone manages to cut through the roar of the crowd below. I see a few people look up. I begin waving my arms, giving them directions again, and Hudson continues to lob shingles. With his range now figured out, he manages to get a few more good hits in, drawing more attention.

Soon, we're able to direct a large portion of the crowd through a side street and into the next plaza over. All too soon, however, a titan wanders too close.

I never imagined how badly they would smell. I'm also not prepared for how little their portraits and sketches truly portrayed their horrifying nature. It's mouth agape, this 'measly' five-meter titan still towered over the people it walked amongst. And it looked like them too, almost. It had hair on its head, though that appeared ratty and weathered. But its face and body, that is where the similarities ended. Its face was warped, lengthened far beyond normal proportions, and its torso was fat and bulgy. Pockets of its flesh sagged and drooped away as if trying to flee.

Its lips were pried back, exposing the gums in a perpetual, horrifying smile. It was this smile that did it, that paralyzed me to the half-torn up roof. Its mouth was filled with two sets of perfect, straight, blindingly white teeth. And it was these teeth I watched clamp down on the head of the screaming merchant who'd Hudson had struck with the shingle.

I used to drop fruit off a nearby building's roof onto the people below as a practical joke. Just small stuff, like partially eaten apples. One day, me and another friend had lugged a watermelon up there with us. After all the huffing and exhaustive work of balancing it while on the ladder, it was only once we were at the top did we realize that we couldn't throw this at someone, that it'd be too dangerous. Instead, we allowed it to roll off into a nearby alleyway below. We watched as it fell, and fell, and fell, until finally landing on the bricks below. We watched it splatter open, the red fruit spreading out and splattering the ground around it.

That's the image that went through my head, when that titan bit down on the merchant. Like the watermelon, I watch as his head splatters open and sprays the titan's mouth with red, cutting his screaming short.

"Move!" I hear another voice screaming in my ear and I feel a slap to the back of my head. I turn around and see Sergeant Jern with his hand raised for another strike. My squad mates have their blades drawn, but just as quickly as I come to, Sergeant Jern is giving the order to stow them.

"S-sergeant!" Sims begins to protest, but the pot-bellied leader grabs him by the front of his uniform and pulls him close. I can see the spittle flying from his mouth.

"Don't you dare go against my orders!" He shouts directly in Sims' face. "This is not our objective! We are to be getting this people back to Wall Rose!" He lets Sims go and steps back. I see Sims swallow and eye us. The rest of the squad sheathes their blades with a sharp _schlink_.

"Now," the Sergeant continues, "fall back." He pulls the flare gun from a side pouch and points it towards the sky. It explodes in a shower of smoke and fire, propelling the round far above our heads in a streaking column. I turn my head back to the titan. The blue smoke of the flare isn't enough to conceal it, or its too-perfect smile, now stained red.

–

The blood rushes to my head and heart. I feel it beating its way out of my chest. We're standing in line to be paired up. After that, we fight.

I've never been in a fight before, and my palms sweat from the thought. I'm not weak, but as I look over at Hudson standing in the next line over, I know I'm not strong either. I glance at Sims and Reis, who are joking amongst themselves, and know I'm not the fastest either. Shamefully, I hope I get paired up with someone I think I can take.

In the end, as the line shuffles forward outside the sand pits we'd be squaring off in, I'm matched against the blond haired girl, Samantha. She's forgone her usual method of pulling her hair in a bun and has instead elected to braid it this morning. It's a tight braid, split into two strands that wrap to the back of her head and partway down her neck before joining into one solid strand. Her blue eyes are sharp like daggers, the corners of her mouth pulled tight with concentration.

I notice her hands are wrapped in the fighter's way with gray-white cloth, just before her strike connects with my nose. I'd daydreamed all the way up to the moment our bout started, and now I'm paying for it with blurry vision and watering eyes.

I reflexively rear back with a strike of my own. At least I'm not fighting Reis or Sims, who'd surely be faster than me. As my arm streaks out, I feel a solid hook connect with the left side of my torso, taking my breath with it.

I step back, out of her range. Okay, at least I'm not fighting Hudson, who'd surely be stronger than me. I step forward, loading my back foot for a kick. I send it out, pulling up short at the last moment as I see her prepare to receive it. Instead, I plant myself and punch with a stiff jab and follow it with a sloppy haymaker. I watch her cover up, protecting herself before she once again hits me with a strike that knocks my breathe away. Surely, then, I have something on her.

Before I'm able to recover, she's on me again. I'm backing up, ducking a hook before taking a jab to my stomach. I adjust my defense and feel more than see a blurry fist barely pass by my head.

"Let's go!" I hear a trainer shouting from the sidelines. "Let's see some offense!" I don't have time to work out who it could be, or the type of punishment my pitiful performance could be landing me. Instead, I'm nearly forced off balance by a fast kick aimed at my forward knee.

I manage to check it, striking back but I feel like my arms weigh double what they should. My strikes feel sloppy and slow. A jab, another hook, and she catches me again.

I circle back around, trying to catch my breath more than her strikes. I once again hear the trainer from the sideline. Now he's cheering her on, telling her to finish me off. I feel the heat rise to my face. Not like this.

I see her step forward, loading her rear hand. It's my chance. I step forward as well, closing the distance even further.

When I open my eyes, I'm on the ground, my vision swimming. My jaw is on fire, my teeth feeling like they're about to fall out. Samantha is standing over me, recovering from the uppercut that just put me out. The trainer on the sideline is almost out of his skin with what I can only assume is sadistic pride. I look back up at those blue eyes, fixated on me. Her mouth opens to a single word.

"Perfection."

–

From all around the city, I see blue flares arcing up into the sky. First they came singly or in pairs. Now, they streak up by the half-dozen. We're standing on a three story roof, far enough away from the titans to not be in direct danger, but close enough to see the vanguard engaging them.

From our vantage point, we can hear the faint hissing of their ODM gear. They look like tiny gnats. The titans swat at them. Too often, the hissing is ended abruptly with one of their meaty swings, but we avoid looking directly at them; avoid recognizing what it means.

"The rear guard has taken over the evacuation." I hear Sergeant Jern say. His voice holds no love for the next task he's about to embark us upon. "We're now tasked with joining the delaying action in the center." Our blades have been stowed the entire time, save for when the one titan had gotten close. I immediately hear the rasp as Hudson's are freed from their container. It's followed by several more. I see Sims and Samantha following suit.

I swallow the knot in my throat and do the same. The twin blades weigh almost nothing, as thin and sharp as they are. It's the handles that weigh the most.

A dozen different strategies run through my head for taking a titan down. All of the different training scenarios we've performed flash in front of me and I grip the handles with white knuckles. Looking over at Reis and Sims, I can tell they're feeling the same way. Hudson has one foot set on the edge of the singled roof, ready to go. I can feel Samantha's presence directly behind me. I just want to turn and hold her.

After a moment of silence between us that seems to go on for an eternity, Sergeant Jern orders us forward. As one, our ODM's _hiss_ and we're streaking through the air once more.

–

"I'm telling you," Sims went on, "you just have to _feel_ how the line tugs to know when to apply the brake." He had his hands out in front of him, as if beckoning Hudson to understand. They were all standing outside, by the training yard for the ODM. Some cadets were strung up on the training lines. Others were streaking through a small patch of tall poles, set up to train maneuvers, a net below to catch any failures.

"I just need to get close enough." Hudson says, waving his twin blades through the air. They had only recently entrusted us with the real thing, something they pounded in our heads not to mess around with. Hudson brought them together above his head and swiped down in a faux-attack at thin air. He applied his own sound effects, as if splitting open an imaginary titan.

"Act like that and you're going to wish you were fighting a titan after the sergeants get a hold of you." I say to him. He laughs and fakes a swing in my direction. I flinch instinctively away and it only makes him laugh harder.

"Act like that," he mocks back, "and you'll never even get to _see_ a titan, much less fight one." I have nothing better than telling him to shut up. He ignores me anyway until it's his turn to swing through the forest of training poles. After he's gone, I'm left with only my own company as the last man in line.

"He's pretty good with his blades." I hear a female's voice from behind me. I turn to see Samantha standing there, out of breath from having just unhooked from the training line. "But he's going to get himself killed by putting himself so far out there." She goes on.

For once, I'm not on the defensive and I'm not sure what to say. She takes a step closer so she's directly next to me and I smell flowers. I open my mouth to say something witty but nothing comes out.

"He's an ass." She concludes and I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah." I say lamely.

I hear her turn towards me and I do the same. For the first time, I'm looking directly at her without having to worry about getting punched and I find I don't mind. She's pretty, undeniably so, and now that her blue eyes aren't looking for an opening in which to strike me, I think to myself that I could get used to looking at them.

"I've seen you on the ODM." She says. "You aren't too bad." Two cadets whiz by, whooping as they go.

"You aren't too bad in the fighting pit, either." I conclude. She rolls her eyes and snorts.

"You'll get your chance again." She looks out at the other cadets. "Just get in line." I see something else behind those blue eyes that I can empathize with. Suddenly, I'm not so bothered by our bout in the fighting pit those weeks ago.

"You'll have to teach me some of those moves." I stutter out. I feel like Sims when he's getting yelled at by a training sergeant, like my first day at school. She looks back at me and I meet her gaze. I quickly grow uncomfortable but refuse to look away.

After a long moment, I hear my name yelled as I'm called for my lesson on the ODM course. I reluctantly turn, owning the fact that I'm the first to avert their gaze. As I do, I hear her again, in that same soft voice that humiliated me in the fighting pit.

"Meet me here after dark and I'll teach you."

–

I pull the triggers and with a loud _hiss_ , I see the wires extend out in front of me and affix themselves into an oncoming wall. I'm pulled with so much force that it jars me to my very bones, forcing me to apply the brake so I can maneuver more accurately. The wind rushes through my hair.

I make another last-minute correction before reeling the hooks back in, sending them out once more so that my flight path continues. From both sides, I hear the cries of my squad mates as we close in on a five-meter titan. It's the first we've come across since being ordered into the fray. In the distance, I hear the unmistakable booms of cannon fire.

It emits a monstrous roar as it swings a meaty arm out towards Reis. He's accelerating fast enough to get out of the way but it's shorter stature makes it a harder target. The taller ones we would could engage as a squad as they tower over the nearby homes. This one forces us to come at it one or two at a time lest we tangle our lines in the narrow streets.

The thing's torso is impossibly long and thin compared to the rest of its body. Its fingers, too, stretch out unnaturally far as they reach out for Reis' blurry form. For a moment, a chill runs through my body as I fear it may grab his ODM lines, but Reis has seemingly already accounted for that by his entry angle and streaks past. I can hear him swearing.

I see Reis land safely on a nearby roof, his lines pulled back into his gear. I'm about twenty meters away, down the street and on another roof. Before I know what I'm doing, my gear _hisses_ as the lines lance out, hooking into a two story stucco home. I swing into the street, blades readied just like in training. A blonde blur is beside me and I don't have to look to know who it is or what we're about to do.

The titan reaches out, its eyes as dead as the villagers at its feet. Despite myself, I cry out as I'm carried closer and closer. I extend my line out and drop my altitude, going in low. It takes the bait, bending at the waist to reach towards me. For an instant, I'm struck by a horrible fear of being caught like a fish on a line, dangling like an appetizer. I press the trigger to 'burst', or give myself a little extra 'oomf' from my tanks in order to increase my speed and, just as I'm passing by its fat stubby legs, I hear the sound of flesh paring and feel a burst of hot steam at my back. Clear of the titan, I look back to see its nape sliced open with Samantha in mid air, blades stained red.

I land close by on another roof and see it topple to the ground with a heavy sound, throwing up dirt and debris. Samantha lands beside me a moment later, one of her blades broken at the hilt. She shakes it loose, the broken blade skipping across the roof and to the ground below with a clamor, and quickly replaces it with another from her scabbard.

"There you go, Samantha!" Hudson cries from a nearby roof. "Get it!" But I can tell she's unhappy. The first titan we engage and she breaks a blade. We only have so many. Her cut must have been at a bad angle.

"Are you good?" She asks me. I don't have to answer her for her to know. My grip on my blades is tighter than normal. I can feel the sweat pooling under my uniform. "Just like training then, huh?" A smile tugs at my lips and that's good enough for her. She motions with her head and we're off again, further into the battle. My first few steps are shaky, but that doesn't matter when I'm in midair.

–

"S-so are you going to marry her, or what?" Sims asks me. We're standing on the branch of a large tree, preparing to execute an ambush on a giant, menacing cardboard cutout hidden nearby. Reis and Hudson are close enough to hear the jib and laugh low enough to avoid attracting the sergeants. Samantha, however, is perhaps ten feet over on the next branch and no doubt heard it.

"I'd rather t-t-throw you out of the tree." I mock back.

"H-hey now." He protests. "I thought we agreed n-not to make fun of my s-stuttering."

"Oh sorry," I say, my voice edged with sarcasm, "I didn't realize we could set things as off limits."

"He's so sensitive about it because she's been teaching him so many _moves_ after dark." Hudson says with a smile, eying my slyly. Despite my insistence that we were indeed _just_ training, it only seemed to throw fuel on the fire. A few weeks earlier, I would have considered Hudson's remark more seriously. After being forced into so many scenarios with him, however, I understand it's just his own, albeit weird, way of bonding with his squad mates.

"Maybe she could give me some one-on-one time too?" Reis asks, his eyes wide in mock innocence. He reaches out and gives me a playful smack on my arm. I just roll my eyes and sigh loudly, loudly enough to hopefully let Samantha know that I'm not in on the joke with them. We had indeed _only_ been training since we started speaking on the ODM course a few weeks back. If only his friends knew the truth; about how exhausted he's been after their evening runs and sparring sessions. He was sure, if they had the opportunity, that Samantha would be running through ODM maneuvers as well. Fortunately for him, the sergeants kept the gear locked up when the cadets weren't using it.

"Shut up." I whisper, but smile despite myself. "You need to shut up." I didn't want to give them the wrong idea, but for the past couple of weeks, even though it's been exhausting, the evening hours have been my favorite time of the day.

"Will you three idiots pay attention?" I hear Samantha whisper from the other branch. I see her looking out towards the patch of trees that our target was supposedly located in.

"Yes, commander." Hudson puffs his chest out and gives a mock salute.

"That's cadet section leader to you." She turns with a grin, the shiny silver bar on her collar catching the light. I hear Reis snicker.

Before Hudson can reply, I hear a distant explosion and whip my head back to the aforementioned patch of trees. A streak of red is arcing at an angle through them, slightly obscuring the area. There's the sound of wires and out of the trees, a large cutout in the shape of a titan appears. The signal to start the ambush.

"Go!" Samantha shouts, her ODM gear spitting out the leads and pulling her out of the tree a second later. All three of us follow, swinging through the air a little faster than we should be. I start to brake as the foilage closes in on us. I'm worried about tripping my wires when I hear Hudson shouting at me to speed back up.

We're about twenty meters from the cutout when I realize that we're going to come up short on the run. I call it out and Samantha orders us to split. Two by two, we can come at it from a different angle and at different times, decreasing the chance in a real fight that it could track us. Hudson, however, ignores the order.

"We're too close!" He argues over the rushing wind, although his partner, Sims, has already pulled off towards the left and Samantha and I have done the same towards the right. He barrels right towards it, blades raised high, as he simultaneously redirects his ODM to latch high onto a nearby tree. He bursts his tank, pushing him almost directly upwards and parallel to the cutout. Samantha and I are arcing back after having twisted around on our aborted run, and that's when I see his arms begin to sag, the blades in them starting to drop.

"It's the Black!" Samantha shouts, referencing the condition when soldiers push their speed too far and begin to lose conciousness. In training, where nets are often used to catch cadets who are just getting used to the ODM gear, blacking out is less of a concern than the punishment given by the trainers. In combat, however, and in scenarios where the nets are taken away, losing control of your gear can prove fatal if you don't recover fast enough.

And just as in the warnings we were given the very first day of ODM training, I watch Hudson's blades drop completely from his hands, dangling from the lanyard which connects them to his rigging. His speed begins to slow as he gradually peaks. Then, he begins his descent, his wires still hooked onto an adjacent tree.

"End-ex!" Sims shouts, the codeword for an emergency echoing through the trees to where our trainers were undoubtedly watching us. But they wouldn't get to us quick enough, I realize. I throw my lines out to a thick spruce and hear them impact with a heavy thud. My rigging tugs my body forward and slightly right. I hurtle towards Hudson's falling body, my blades already stowed. The ground below is pecariously close and a complete blur as I swing above it. If Hudson doesn't recover in time, he wouldn't be the first cadet to find himself in a casket.

With the wind rushing through my ears, I hear Samantha yelling about going high. That's about the time I start reaching out towards Hudson, and I get a handful of his uniform as I pass by, pulling him with me. My rigging starts groaning from the strain as it pulls both of us up towards the anchor point. Our speed begins to slow as Hudson's own lines are pulled tight. A moment later, we're brought to a jarring stop as they go taut. We're left hanging in midair, as if caught in some invisible spider web. I'm breathing heavily from the strain of holding Hudson's dead weight, sweat pouring down into my eyes, when his own open to see me.

"What are you doing?" He asks, and before I can answer, a yellow arc of smoke barrels through the area.

"The exercise is over!" I hear Sergeant Jern's voice, deep and loud through the trees. I'm ready for the lesson, for the punishment for pushing too fast and ruining the mission. That's when another flash of light catches my eye and I turn my head to see Samantha hanging idly by the cutout, her blades still out. She's smiling, and that's when I see the cutout is missing its head. I hear Sergeant Jern's voice again, as well as a few claps.

"Well done." The Sergeant says. "Mission complete."

–

"Two seven-meters, right side!" I hear Samantha shout. We're still mid-air, our tanks hissing like angry snakes as our formation streaks over a neighborhood of broken homes. Smoke clouds part of our vision, and it's a wonder that she's even able to spot them. They're there, however, about fifty meters away in an open plaza strew with wreckage. We're fully in the fight now, among other squads busy with their own battles. We've taken out just two titans, but we've managed to avoid any casualties all the same.

"Right section, right titan!" Sergeant Jern orders, a standard maneuver we've drilled countless times. We turn the formation and our right section splits off, leaving Sims, Hudson, Samantha, and I to the titan on the left. Sergeant Jern hangs back slightly, landing on a nearby roof to keep a lookout and to redirect our efforts should it be needed.

We're speeding closer, blades at the ready, as the blood rushes to my head and heart. The adrenaline has been pumping for over an hour now with no end in sight. It sharpens everything like I would never have imagined. I can see distant explosions of cannon fire from a few blocks over. I hear the whistle of wind through my uniform. I smell the blood in the air.

"Split!" Samantha yells as we approach the more-or-less correct engagement distance. She and I don't have much to hook on, seeing as the titan is at the edge of the plaza. Luckily, our lines manage to sink into an almost too-far building that pulls us roughly within fifteen meters or so of the thing. It turns in our direction, an already dead man in its left hand. Its eyes are blank, though I see the recognition in its eyes of another possible meal. It looks like a male, though its eyes are three times too big for its head, which is likewise too small for its gangly body. We streak by as I watch Hudson and Sims approach from the opposite direction. Just as planned, the titan is too busy watching us to notice them on their run.

"Too low!" I hear Sims shout. I turn my head at his cry and watch as he redirects his lines to pull him away from the towering titan. Hudson, however, continues forward, his blades raised. As Samantha and I begin turning, our lines now connected to a half-destroyed church, we watch Hudson slice ineffectively at the titan's back. An arc of steam and blood bursts forth, covering the soldier as he recovers, pulling away and back towards Sims' direction. We hear him cursing even on our way in, the titan now turning its head at the now departing attacker. It gives us enough of an opportunity to close the distance, and as Samantha goes for the killing blow, I aim for its right arm. In case she misses, at least the possibility exists that I can render it less able to reach out at us.

I bring one of my blades down but the angle means I only shave a part of the muscle and skin away from the titan's arm. A burst of steam catches me in the face as I forget to avert my face at the last second. My eyes close involuntarily and I reflexibly cover my face with the other arm. I hear it roar as I reopen them to find myself hurtling towards the yellow-brown wall of a nearby home.

I brake hard, feeling my body rattle from the sudden decelleration, and retract my lines. I push them out towards another building nearby and twist my body so that the next blast of air from my tanks slows me even further. As my lines miss the building and sink into a wall instead, I allow my tanks to propel me to the side. Black stains the outer portion of my vision and I struggle to regain my breath in the rushing wind. Samantha is above me somewhere, a tiny dot blocking the sun.

"Recover!" She yells, and I can hear her voice getting hoarse. We land on a damaged roof and I almost loose my footing as the shingles slide out from under my feet. She catches me by my sleeve as my vision returns and steadies me. Together, we watch Hudson and Sims make their next run, the titan starting to make its way towards where we're standing. They close in as we prepare to jump off.

It's Sergeant Jern's warning that ultimately saves us, and dooms me. As we take our leap, our lines extending outwards, we hear him shout and see him out of the corner of our eyes racing towards us.

"Five-meter, left side!" He shouts, and we whip our heads down and to the left to see a shambling form previously unseen emerge from a pile of debris. The titan's arms are about twice as long as they should be, and we watch it use them to push away the obstacles in its path. Its head, enlongaded and narrow, turns upwards to see Hudson and Sims as they close in on the other seven-meter, seemingly unaware.

"Watch out!" I shout, but Hudson is in the middle of a battlecry that drowns us out. In a rush of compressed air and wire, Samantha and I are already off the roof of our building, adjusting our run to put us after the newcomer. It's then that I realize two things: that our angle is wrong, and that my left blade had broken in the earlier attack.

I'm halfway between deciding to shed it or adjust for the loss when I realize I don't have time to decide. I'm swinging down in my arc, putting me directly into the mouth of the alley in which the titan emerged from. With Samantha directly ahead, I watch her last minute adjustment as she sweeps her blades on the titan in a cloud of steam. I whip in after her, the air hot and full of evaporating water. I blindly bring my only intact blade down and feel it connect with something. If it weren't for the lanyard connecting it back to me, I'd have lost it as I feel myself spun around in midair, my lines twisting in on themselves. I hurtle out of the steam cloud and just barely past a stone coloumn. It's in that moment that my legs connect with a low wall I hadn't seen earlier.

I scream as the impact spins me through the air, toppling me head over heels. I land in grass, skidding and spinning until I come to a stop against the far wall. Pain shoots through both of my legs and my whole body feels like jello. Something comes out of my lips. I might be asking for help but the only thing I hear is a high-pitched whistle. I turn my head and a sharp pain stop me immediately. I turn it anyway to look up at the sky as I take a deep breath in. I can see my wires extending up from my prone position and into the wall above. They're a mess, tangled impossibly together and around me as well. I do as I was drilled to do, hearing Sergeant Jern's voice shouting in my head to cut myself free. I begin to try and reach for the small cutter at my belt, fumbling with hands that don't feel like they belong to me. It's almost impossible to move as my own cables have trapped me in a cocoon.

Finally, I manage to find the pouch on my belt that contains the cutter. I pull it free and try to turn onto my back. It takes some effort, but I finally roll enough that I'm facing upwards. I look down to the mess of tangled cabling to start picking which one to start cutting first. With some difficulty, I align the cutters and begin to squeeze the handles together, splitting the cabling and starting the process to free myself.

I'm about to start on the next one when I hear a heavy footstep. I turn my head, pain accompanying the movement, and see that just over the low wall I had struck, a eyes of a titan peering back at me.

I immediately try and sit up, holding back an involuntary grunt, but it's impossible with the way I'm wrapped up. I take a quick inventory of my injuries, thanking whatever was looking over me that my legs appear unbroken. I wiggle them, and despite the pain that follows, I think I can put weight on them. I look back at the titan. It's beginning to walk closer.

"Help!" I yell, trying to get the cutter onto the next wire. It's difficult, given the angle, and I miss once, twice, before it finally closes in on the cable. I begin to squeeze the handles, feeling them start to give. I look back over. The titan is climbing over the wall, its eyes having never strayed from me. The courtyard is only fifteen or so meters wide. It'll close that distance in no time.

Oh lord, I still have to cut the cables. My thoughts race and my hands shake as the next wire is cut. I still have to get up. I still have to repair my ODM gear. I still don't even know if it's servicable. I cut another cable. The titan is now over the wall.

"Help!" I scream again. "Help! Help me!" Another wire cut as panic sets in. The titan is almost on me. I still have so many wires to cut, too many. I'm not going to get it done fast enough. I can't even focus to keep cutting them. I only scream as the titan's shadow covers me. I see its eyes still locked onto me. I can almost see my reflextion in them, they're so large. I certainly see my death. It reaches out, arms unnaturally long and open as if to welcome me. It opens its maw, saliva and spittle spilling out over its too-large, too-perfectly white rows of teeth. I can feel its breath on me, a rush of scorching air that smells like blood.

It wraps its too-long fingers around my body, pulling me up into the air. I feel my whole body being squeezed and my breath leaves me. I'm unable to suck air back in and I feel like I'm simultaneously being crushed and drowned at the same time. I find I can no longer scream and it pulls me in close to its mouth. I see its maw begin to close. I slam my own eyes shut.

I'm hit with another burst of hot air and I feel the grip on me loosen before I begin falling. I hit the ground, still in its grip, and I open my eyes to see it still staring at me, its eyes now truly dead. Steam still pours out the back of its neck and I see Samantha standing there, half hidden by its huge head. She's got tears running down her face as she runs around the head and to where I'm laying. As she pulls its hands apart and I'm able to start breathing again, I can hear her sobbing.

"It's okay." I manage to groan. "I'm good." She continues to cry, pulling me into her lap and squeezing me almost as hard as the titan did. I sit up and wrap my own arms around her in a sort of half-hug. I find that I'm crying too.

"I fucking hate this!" She yells, muffling herself by pressing her face into my shoulder. It hurts and I groan from it so she pulls away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I wave her away and get to a knee. I don't want to release her but she's the first to do so, pulling away but only slightly.

"Where's the squad?" I ask, and she wipes her nose to point behind her.

"Still in the plaza. There are more coming." She looks down arright blade was snapped, probably in my fall. I grab them up and replace them with fresh ones. The blade on my right struggles to come free, but finally it does as I jerk it loose. I only have a few more replacements. I check my canisters and see that the connectors are still intact, if not loose. If I had come in any faster before hitting that wall...

Samantha and I both stand. My right knee buckles slightly, but I find I can still walk on it. My entire uniform has been shredded, but I'm alive. I'm alive. I take a deep, painful breath as we begin walking out towards the mouth of the alley. That's when I see Hudson.

He's lying on the ground, near the body of the seven-meter we had been trying to take down. His cabling is wrapped around its right hand, and I see one of Hudson's swords buried up to the hilt in the things head. Hudson's skull is caved in, blood leaking from the wound.

"What?" I whisper, and it's all I manage to get out before the bile I had forced down earlier in the day comes back up. Samantha, who had previously been half-supporting me, lets me go as I drop to my knees and vomit. A mixture of green and yellow splatters against the dirty brick below and coats my knees and hands. I dry heave again, my vision blurring. "How?" I moan.

Samantha is silent above me, but finally she responds.

"He came in too slow." The irony of it doesn't fail to strike me. It feels like another blow to my stomach, knocking the wind from me. I look about, as if the answer was written on the walls somewhere. Too slow? Hudson came in too slow on a run?

"It grabbed his wires." She went on, choking back another sob. "He managed to get a few in but Sims wasn't quick enough on the nape."

It's all I can do to stifle my own cry. I can only remember all the times we had eaten together, or fought against each other, or laughed. I don't want to stand, but I feel Samantha pulling me to my feet.

"Come on." She says as I find my footing. The jello feeling has returned and I want to do anything but continue. She half-drags me to a wall where Hudson and the titan fall out of view. I put my back up against it and slide down to my butt. She stands next to me. All I hear is distant hissing and the rumble of footsteps. "We have to repair your ODM gear." She says.

"I know." And I wipe at my mouth. I'd need to replace the cables and find new leads. Until then, I was grounded. The squad had a designated support soldier, but Reis was in the squad's right section. I ask Samantha where he is and she shrugs her shoulders.

"I don't know, but we have to link up with them." I nod my agreement and get back to my feet. "Wrap your arms around my waist." She orders, and I do so. Her cables explode out of her rigging and to the building above us. The winches groan but soon, we're both able to climb onto the roof. From the new vantage point, I'm able to see the rest of our squad, but more importantly, I'm no longer able to see Hudson.

It doesn't take long for the remaining members of the squad to join us on the shingled roof. Sims lands first and I'm wrapped up in one of his hugs.

"O-o-oh m-man." He stutters out before stepping back. "I saw you go in b-b-but when you d-didn't come back out..." He let's it go at that before averting his eyes towards the alley we had just come from. "H-h-h-" He's unable to finish so I do it for him.

"I know." I say, and he turns his head away from me. He just shakes his head, and that's when the rest of our squad lands, the roof seemingly shaking from their impacts. It feels like the roof is going to give way any moment.

I see Sergeant Jern, Reis, and the majority of the right section. It's difficult to pretend _not_ noticing that they were missing a member themselves.

"Status?" the Sergeant asks, looking me up and down. I can see some of the color has drained from his face.

"I'll be okay." I reply. I try and stand straight up and am mostly able, despite my right knee. "I need new lines."

At the mention of it, Reis immediately drops to a knee and pulls a satchel free. Unrolling it, he reveals several coiled replacement wires. The rest of the squad fans out a bit in a rough circle at Sergeant Jern's order, on lookout. In a few moments, despite the inherent danger of a field repair, my the cables of my ODM gear are replaced.

"You need to watch the connections." Reis tells me as he finishes. "They've been compromised." He looks me dead in the eyes. "If you push too hard, they might break."

"I've had enough of spinning wildly in the air." I tell him grimly. "Don't worry about that."

We're coming to our feet when Sergeant Jern is already ordering us off the roof.

–

We're assembled in the same grassless courtyard we had arrived in, three years previously. The sun is high in the sky, blazing hot. It shines down on us as we stand unmoving and at perfect attention. This time, instead of fumbling cadets, we've come as graduating soldiers.

We're in our best uniforms, clean with shoes polished for the occasion, and despite the sweat dribbling down our faces, we wouldn't prefer to be anywhere else. Three years it's taken us, but we're finally here. I try and sneak a glance over at Samantha but she's out of view, as always.

"This is it." I hear Sims whisper from behind me. "This is the day." And I can't help but grin as I look over the podium and chairs set up before us. It's not long before they're filled by uniformed men and women, some of which I've never seen before. In a blur, the ceremony begins, some of the uniformed people make speeches, and then it's all over. Before we can blink, our formation is given the order to fallout and Hudson, Samantha, Reis, Sims, and I are gathered in a small huddle, our arms interlaced over eachothers' shoulders and smiles on our faces.

"I can't believe it!" Sims exclaims.

"You better!" Hudson slaps him, and then me on the back. I'm across from Samantha in the huddle, and although the others joustle me about and are louder, her blue eyes are all I see.

"We did it." She says to me and my smile grows wider. We've already heard our assignments, and Samantha and I are headed to the garrison. I haven't told her yet, but I'm hoping that we're at least assigned the same platoon. After the ceremony, I do know one thing I'm set on telling her.

"How are you going to celebrate?" She asks. Before I can answer, I hear Sims from my side.

"Heads up." Our huddle breaks and we turn as one to see Sergeant Jern approaching us. He's in his best uniform as well, and the sun practically shines off his bald head as if he'd polished that too. He stops short of our group with his hands on his hips. His face is even and we're unsure of whether we're about to be congratulated or forced to do more pushups. Fortunately, it's the former.

"Congratulations." His face breaks into a smile. "But you know this isn't the end. You have a long way to go from here."

I find myself nodding, as do the others. Samantha is by my side. I can almost feel her hand touch mine.

"From here, you'll be assigned your permanent station." Sergeant Jern went on. "I know none of you made military police, but the garrison is plenty fine on its own." This is one of the few times we've heard the iron-voiced Sergeant speak to us in a normal voice and it has us slightly off kilter. "Stay out of trouble and you'll all be fine." Despite the numerous times we've shaken in our boots at the sound of his voice, we can't help but feel it take on a warmer tone.

"Are you going to continue training cadets?" Hudson bodly asks.

"I will." The Sergeant nods. "It's one of the most important duties one can fulfill." He looks at each one of us. "Watching you all come here, not knowing your ass from ODM, and becoming the soldiers you are now is-" He begins to trail off before finishing, "- also one of the most rewarding."

"Well you've certainly helped us get here." Reis says. "I never imagined I could run so fast in my life."

"Well keep up on it." The Sergeant continues. "A lot of soldiers let that stuff go once they get their assignments." He suddenly turns serious. "You're going to get out there," He goes on, "and find that it's a lot different than in here. Out there," he turns his head as if to indicate some invisible group, "soldiers sometimes forget the bonds they form on the training field."

I feel my smile fading, and watch as the others feel the same. Other groups are still celebrating around us, talking with their own training sergeants or amongst themselves, but we no longer hear them. It's as if no one else is here.

"Don't forget that." He says. "I'm serous; don't forget it. Take care of each other, no matter where you end up. More than the ODM, the gas in your canisters, and even more than the swords you carry, it's the men and women by your side that are going to carry you home."

I nod, as the others do. It's a lesson I vow not to forget.

The sun has started to dip into the sky, bringing with it the hottest part of the day. There has been no time to stop for water and we're all dehydrated and hungry. Regardless, we're still fighting. Slowly but surely, we've started to fall back towards Wall Rose with the other squads. We've felled four more titans in the meantime. The price of doing so has been three more members of our squad, the entire right section save for Reis.

Reis has been ordered to stay with Sergeant Jern while our remaining section continues to stay in the fight. I've already passed off my remaining spare flare shells, so the reduction in weight is appreciated, but now I carry a different type of weight. In the time that has passed, my right knee has only gotten worse, the cuts and bruises beginning to show themselves. Landing is difficult, and my ODM refuses to accelerate as it should. I know I can't stop to take a breather.

"Another seven-meter, left!" Sims yells but I can hear how tired he is in his voice. We soar through the air.

"Fifteen-meter, far right!" I yell, spotting the lumbering giant making its way towards Wall Rose, situated directly in front of us. We're attempting to gain a better position, as the blocks surrounding us has been sparse with buildings tall enough for our ODM, but the number of titans has just been increasing.

We land on a wide, flat roof three stories up and I almost fall, knee buckling. I let out a hiss that would rival our canisters and see that Sims is in pain too. A titan took a swipe at him earlier, catching his right arm in the middle of a sword swing. He's been nearly unable to use it since.

"Just a few more blocks." Sergeant Jern pants. Despite the ODM gear, we're all still out of breath. Looking down at my canister's dial, I see the indicator has dropped dangerously close to the red. Soon, we'll be forced on the ground permanently and then I can only imagine how out of breath we'll be.

"Another titan," Reis remarks almost lazily, "off to our far left."

"There's titans everywhere." Samantha says. Looking around, I see that she's right. There's more and more, no matter how many we kill or see get killed. It seems that no matter what we do, their numbers refuse to decrease. I see my squadmates glancing towards Wall Rose, and I can't help but feel the same way.

"Desertion is punishable by death." Sergeant Jern says, reading our minds. "But we don't have to desert to ensure we live through this." His statement breaths life back into our bodies. The wall stands perhaps a half mile over. Inbetween it and us, more titans than I can count.

"What's the plan, Sergeant?" Samantha asks. In an earlier time, her tone might have been seen as questioning his authority. Now, however, all of that formality has boiled down to the simple need to survive. Jern looks around, judging the terrain and the odds stacked against us.

"Command broke down an hour ago." He goes on. We hadn't seen a coordinated set of flares in longer. "We keep moving towards the wall. With any luck, we'll have enough gas to make it up." I look towards the fifty-meter high mass of stone and realize I'm holding my breath. We're running on fumes as it is.

"Until we get to the wall," Jern says, "we move on foot."

"This is madness." I hear Reis mutter. It's quickly stamped out by Jern and Samantha. We all look at one another and know it's the only way.

We land on the bricked street below a moment later, in the shade of an adjacent building. It's refreshing, but the moment is gone in an instant as we begin to make our way through the maze of alleys and streets. We stick to the smaller ones as much as possible, but every now and again we have to venture out into the open as we cross a plaza or market place. A few times, we're forced to wait in the shadows as a titan lumbers by, picking through rubble or fighting another squad. We want to help, but it seems every single one of us has silently agreed to put our survival above anything else.

As the wall looms closer, my knee gets worse. Putting weight on it for an extended period of time has forced me into a limp. With every step, a sharp pain jumps from my knee, all the way down to my ankle. A few times, it rolls on a piece of brick or rock and I almost crash to the ground. If it weren't for Samantha, the clamor might have brough the attention of nearby titans.

We come within perhaps a hundred meters of the wall, to a point where we have to crane our necks upwards in order to see the top. We're close and we know it.

"This way." Jern is leading from the front and waves us through a breezeway. We dip under a bridge and turn into another alleyway.

"Stop stop stop." Reis whispers through his teeth. We all come to a halt just before entering a street. We feel as much as hear the heavy foot stamps of a titan as it approaches. Jern peaks his head out just enough to look out.

"It's not headed this way." He says. "It's standing there for now." A distant hissing alerts us to a nearby squad. I don't wish misfortune on them, but if they lured the titan away I wouldn't complain.

"We can cross over." Jern says.

"W-will it see us?" Sims asks, chancing his own glance out at the thing. "T-t-that's the b-biggest one I've e-ever seen." He whispers back at us. The fear is palpable in his voice, which does nothing to quiet my nerves. The adrenaline has long faded, leaving me exhausted beyond anything I've ever felt before, even in training. From my side, Samantha puts her hand on my shoulder. I cover it with one of my own.

"When I say, two of you cross into the next alley." Jern tells us. "Me and the remaining guys will follow after." Samantha and I exchange looks, and I glance down at my knee.

"I'll go with you." She says and I nod. Jern signals to take our position near the mouth of the alley. I feel my heart hammering, can almost hear it.

"Are you two ready?" Jern asks. No, but I take a breath and give the signal that I am. Samantha squeezes my hand, and then gives a nod herself.

"Ready," Jern starts, and after a pause that lasts all too long, whispers "go!"

Both of us take off, Samantha quicker at first and then falling in with me as I limp my way out and towards the target alley. I can't help but turn my head to look, and my blood chills. That _is_ the biggest titan I've ever seen, bigger than even the fifteen-meter we faced hours ago. I almost trip over my own feet and my ankle rolls. Without thinking, I let out a grunt and fall to my bad knee. Then, I watch as the titan's head turns towards us, its eyes seemingly locking onto me. It opens its maw to reveal its massive teeth, like it's happy to see us.

"Go!" Jern yells, waving his arm. Samantha hauls me to my feet and half-drags me into the alley. Before we recover, we can already hear the titan approaching. Its footsteps rattle our ODM gear. I lock eyes with Jern, who has his lips drawn together and on his face the worst expression I could imagine. I can see the decision being made in his head and he slams a hand against the nearby wall as he finalizes it.

He tells Reis and Sims something, and then the two of them sprint into the street and then into our alley. They're out of breath, even from the short run. Samantha continues pulling me in the other direction. After Jern is sure we've have made some headway, the sergeant steps out into the street.

"Hey!" He shouts, his hands cupped around his mouth. "Hey you big, ugly mother-!" His statement is cut short as he turns and begins to spring away from the titan. In that brief moment, in that brief second where time seemed to slow to a halt, I see true fear on Jern's face. It's something I've never seen before in the three years he trained us, through everything we went through together.

And then time begins to speed back up, and before I can blink, he's gone and out of view. We still hear him, now even more distant as the gigantic titan passes by, transfixed on the iron-voiced man. "Yeah that's right! Come and get it! Let's go!"

The titan passes by us without even turning its head. We hear Jern's voice get quieter and quieter until we only hear the titan's steps. By then, it's replaced by the sound of distant combat and the groans of titans.

"We have to keep moving." Samantha tell us. Both Reis, Sims, and I know it's the right choice, but our legs are slow in getting moving again. "We have to go, before something else shows up."

Begrugingly, we begin moving again. Wall Rose has never been so close and yet so far.

–

"Well," she starts, her hands held behind her back. I've never seen her so... unsure? Vulnerable? Her uniform is pristine, her blonde hair braided tightly in two strands. Her blue eyes are locked onto mine as we stand behind our old barracks. We've been released for the day in order to celebrate. Most of the newly minted soldiers have vowed to do so with as much drink as they can find.

We plan on doing the same but after telling Hudson, Sims, and Reis to go on without us, they gave both of us knowing looks before sauntering off. Hudson, in particular, made no qualms about knowing exactly what our little meeting would be about.

"Alright you two," he had said before disappearing around the corner with both of the others, "just make sure you meet us before sundown." And then with a wink, "or at least by daybreak."

And then it was just us, back behind the barracks, without anyone else, and with way more awkardness than I would have expected. Looking at the old wooden building, it's a wonder we went three years without burning it down.

"The first time I saw you with your hair like that," I started, "you punched me in the face." She snorted back a laugh, covering it with a hand.

"I wore it like this a lot." She countered.

"Yeah," I went on, "but it took you knocking me out for me to notice." She smiled and averted her eyes downward, and then back up to mine.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about?" She asked, and I found myself unsurprised by her forwardness.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, "I did. You see," I paused, for some reason struggling with the words. In all the time we had trained and suffered together, I had never found it hard to talk to her about anything. But for some reason, at this very moment, the words just woudn't come out.

"Well," I went on again, "you see the thing is-" She cut me off, not with words, but with her lips against mine. It went on for what seemed like a blissful eternity. We fell into each other, our arms pulling us closer. She still smelled like flowers.

When we parted, she was still smiling. I wish the moment would never end as I stare back into those sky-blue eyes of hers.

"Is that what you wanted to say?" She asked. I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah," I say, "in a way."

In the shadow of the wall, I feel myself shiver. Goosepimples, despite the heat, rise to the surface of my arms and I see them on Samantha's as well. Reis and Sims are just in front, leading the way. We dip into another alley to avoid the impending shadow of a titan as approaches from another street.

"L-let's go." Sims says, pulling us in before the titan rounds the corner. We keep moving, the pain in my knee now something I've come to accept as permanent. Another turn, a long bending street, and then a perilous cross of a broad street. Finally, we come to Wall Rose.

It stretches up and up and up, further than I remember it. From our spot on the ground, it seems as if we'll never reach the top. The dial of my canister is in the red, I know it.

"Where are you at?" Samantha asks me, and I tell her as much. She asks the same of Sims and Reis. They're both near empty as well.

"Do you think we have enough to reach the top?" Reis ponders, his neck craned upwards. He reaches a hand out to touch the cold, cold stone. "It's so far."

"We don't have a choice." She replies. The nearest gate is too far and undoubtedly closed by now. This is the only way.

I've haven't been this scared of the ODM since the very first day I strapped in. Fifty meters. That's a long, long way up, and a long, long way back down.

I look around, hoping that a last minute solution would present itself. Maybe a spare ODM pack by a casualty, or a canister cache. I hope for anything. Despite the level of hope I hold out, nothing materializes.

"Are we ready?" Samantha asks. I'm not so sure.

"I-I don't think I c-c-can do it." Sims says, his head shaking, his whole body shaking. "I-i-if we d-don't have e-enough..." He leaves the end result up to our imagination.

"I already told you," Samantha goes on, her voice hard, "that we don't have a choice. Look around," she extends her arms out before her, gesturing to the buildings around us, "there's nothing here." She returns her arms to my shoulders, helping steady me. "It's either we take our chances here, or we keep darting house to house until a titan decides to make us a meal." After a moment, "We don't even know if Wall Rose has fallen or not."

She's admitted the one fear we've all been feeling. If Wall Maria has fallen, then what would stop Wall Rose? What if they were climbing this wall, only to find that it's already fallen as well? We'd be doomed, unless we managed to find more tanks.

The silence between us allows me to hear just how quiet the rest of the city has become. There's no longer the sounds of battle and the cannons had stopped a while ago. Even worse, there was no more hissing of other ODM's. Perhaps worst of all, not even a bird chirped. It was only the groans and footfalls of distant titans.

"Get ready." She orders, and I see her glance down at my tank, and then her own. I refuse to do so.

"What if we don't have enough?" I ask her in a whisper.

"We will." She says back. There's a certain false confidence in her voice that I've grown to recognize. It's apparent here and it does nothing for my nerves. "We're both going to make it." She concludes. She then plants a quick kiss on my lips. "You don't have a choice."

Despite everything, I feel a sad smile creep its way onto my face and say "Yes, ma'am." She smiles back, and then after a quick glance to the other two, she whispers something else.

"Stay close to me on the climb."

"Of course, Sam." I respond, as if it would go any other way.

"Okay then." She concludes, visibly steeling herself. I too, ready myself for what we're about to do. I'd be more afriad if I wasn't so exhausted. I'd think about all I have to lose if I hadn't already lost most of it. She's right. We have no other choice.

We all shed our excess gear, placing it on the ground so as to avoid any noise. Our blades go first and then we start cutting anything else we can away. In the end, we're left with nothing but the bare rigging that makes up the maneuvering portion of the ODM. Hopefully, if the stars align, it's enough to see us to the top.

"Do you want to count down?" Reis asks.

"No." Samantha says curtly, and before I can protest, I hear the cables explode out of her rigging and latch onto the wall above. She's up and away, with us following suit. Once again, the familiar feeling, the rush of seemingly flying, floods our veins. For a very brief moment, our fears melt away in the hissing of the gear at our waists.

We climb and climb, our lines stretching out above us and pulling us further up. Every time the cables lance out for the next portion of the climb, we experience a brief moment of weightlessness before the guides sink in and start pulling us again. We try and limit our canister use, but it's unavoidable.

About halfway up, I'm so focused on the top that I barely register Reis' scream from my right. I turn my head despite myself and watch as the last of his gas runs dry just as his cables begin extending out for the next climb. They don't have enough force to dig into the stone of the wall, and he begins falling, arms flailing for any hold he cant find.

The wall has none, and we're forced to watch as his ascent is ended in a painfully slow arc as he gradually begins falling, and falling, his scream unending.

"We have to keep going!" I hear Samantha yell as her ODM sinks into the wall above. I'm so transfixed by Reis' falling form that I almost miss my opportunity and begin falling myself. The abrupt end of his voice snaps me back to reality and I send them out, tapping into my canisters as little as possible in order to get them in. I start climbing again, but noticably slower. I catch Samantha's eye. They're filled with fear. I can hear a faint hissing coming from my tanks that is unmistakably a leak.

At thirty or so meters up, Sims' canisters are the next to empty out. His guides, already dug into the wall, keep him attached but that means that as they stop pulling and he's unable to keep the distance between it and him with his gas, he hurtles towards the unmovable stone. Cruelly, I refuse to look this time and keep my gaze pointed up. The sound of the impact is enough, a _slap_ of flesh against stone I hear from over ten meters away. I let out a cry anyway.

"Come on!" Samantha cries, not even two meters away from me during her ascent. "Come on!" She's not telling me, shes yelling at some invisible force, at some _other_ which is damning her squadmates one and two at a time.

It's at that moment, when we're maybe ten or so meters from the top, that my canisters stop hissing.

"No!" It's not me yelling, it's my body. I'm no longer in it, faced with the truth that I didn't have enough to reach the top. My mouth moves, yelling something else, but I don't know what it is. I stop climbing and for a brief moment, I'm floating. And then, I'm beginning to fall. My hair rushes up into my face, blocking my vision. I didn't have enough.

My fall stops as I feel arms close in around me. I smell flowers. When I open the eyes I never realized I had closed, I see Samantha's face next to mine. She's grabbed me, stopping my fall. Her own guides are dug in, but she's not expending any of her canisters either. We begin hurtling towards the wall.

She slows us with a few hisses of her remaining gas. It's enough, barely. We impact with nearly enough force for her to drop me. I feel her arms loosen for a perilous moment before gripping me tightly again. I see stars and the screaming, high-pitched ringing returns to my ears, drowning out anything else. My left shoulder feels wrong but there's so much pain I don't know how to tell if it's broken or just out of socket.

"Grab hold of me!" I finally hear her voice, desperate, pained. I do as she says and wrap my arms around her as well. We dangle and twist against the unyielding stone. I look up for a brief moment. The top is so close. I can almost reach it.

"Do not let go." She tells me. I let her know that I don't intend on it and we're left dangling there like bait.

Far below, we see the tiny forms of titans roaming the streets. Smoke still rises above the buildings as fire rages in some parts and dies in others. By now, the sun has slipped below the crest of the wall, leaving us completely shaded. It's cool, almost cold. The only sound is our breathing and the rush of wind.

Beside me, I hear Samantha begin to laugh. Low, at first, and then louder as it builds.

"What is so funny?" I ask. My shoulder is broken, somehow. I know it.

Samantha's laugh begins to die down, but it's still there when she gives her answer.

"We made it to the top."

I look up, at the measly distance that keep us from climbing over the lip. Just nine or so meters. That's all we had. I then look down at Sims' form, in much the same position as ours, just dangling there on the wall, unmoving.

I too, begin to laugh. Together, we cackle and giggle like madmen. It goes on until our stomaches hurt. When it finally dies down, I realize we're both crying.

"I can't believe it." She says, taking a deep breath in. She turns her head upwards. "Fuck you."

"I take it you aren't talking to me." I say, and she nods.

Together, we dangle there for another long moment. The only sound, besides the wind, are the creaking rigs we wear, now useless. I begin to wonder how long they'll hold us here before they give out. Or will they never fail? And we'll be stuck here until we starve? Is anyone even up on top of the wall? Or have the titans broken through there as well?

"You know," I begin, "I didn't tell you everything there, behind the barracks." She turns her head, although I can see it hurts to do so.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I didn't have the guts." She ponders that for a moment, whether on purpose or because of her exhaustion.

"What could you possibly have to say to someone you've been with for over three years?" She goes on, "Someone you've trained with, fought with and against, and..." She allows herself to trail off.

"You know," I counter, "it wasn't until three or so weeks in that I even really noticed you."

"Are you admitting to something or apologizing?"

"I think a little of both."

We allow another moment of silence between us. I take another breath and open my mouth. And that's when we hear a commotion from above. We turn our heads up and see several sets of eyes looking down. It's other soldiers, manning the wall above. It hasn't fallen.

"There's people on the wall!" We hear them yell. Both Samantha and I share a look. A sad smile crosses our features as we hold each other tighter.

In the shade of the wall, with the fires and smoke below, I see another tear flow down her cheek.

But it's not for us.


End file.
